1. (7:00 AM: Alarm goes off)
  2. Me
    (Grunts) I don't feel like getting up.
  3. Bed
    No kidding. You were sleeping so well. You should hit the snooze button.
  4. Me
    You think so?
  5. Bed
    Definitely. It's 7:00 and you don't have to be at class until 8:00. An extra ten minutes won't hurt.
  6. Me
    You know what? You're right.
  7. (10 minutes later)
  8. Me
    Ok. Time to get up?
  9. Bed
    Are you sure about that?
  10. Me
    Not really....
  11. Bed
    What, do you have to do take a bath?
  12. Me
    I'd like to.
  13. Bed
    But do you need to?
  14. Me
    I guess I didn't really do anything active last yesterday so I don't really need to.
  15. Bed
    Exactly. Plus, are there really any girls worth impressing in your 8 A.M. class? I mean be honest.
  16. Me
    You know you're absolutely right. You're full of wisdom, Bed.
  17. Bed
    Shh. Shh. Shh. I know. Now, go back to sleep.
  18. (10 minutes later: Alarm goes yet again)
  19. Me
    Ok. Gotta get up. For real this time.
  20. Bed
    Aw. Come on don't go.
  21. Me
    I can't. If I stay any longer I'm going to be late.
  22. Bed
    And what, you'll disturb the one person whose actually trying to learn?
  23. Me
  24. Bed
    Come on. You know as soon as you leave from under these covers things are only gonna go down hill.
  25. Me
    Sad, but very true.
  26. Bed
    Then just stay and hang out with me. Ever since this semester started you hardly ever spend any time with me...You don't even make me before you leave anymore.
  27. Me
    I've never made you. Not once.
  28. Bed
    That's not true. You did for about a week. It was one of your resolutions we both knew it would last.
  29. Me
    Ok fine. I'll stay, but just ten more minutes.
  30. Bed
    That's all I ask.
  31. (10 minutes later)
  32. Me
    Ok. Seriously. I'm getting up.
  33. Bed
    No, stay.
  34. Me
    I can't man. I have class.
  35. Bed
    No you don't. You've been to all of your classes this week.
  36. Me
    That's true.
  37. Bed
    You've been working so hard. You deserve it a little extra sleep.
  38. Me
    You know what? I do deserve it.
  39. Bed
    Damn right you do! Besides, you don't want to go out there. The world's a cold, cold place.
  40. Me
    It is cruel.
  41. Bed
    No, I meant that literally. It's freezing. The Polar vortex will send your balls into hiding the minute you step outside.
  42. Me
    Fuck it. I'm sleeping in.

I hate my bed, really. it's made me missed a lot of classes in my first semester. fuck you, bed!